Well here I am. Going thru divorce number two. The thought brings a feeling I can’t explain. I’ve become a failure in my eyes in many ways. I feel I’ve let my children down. Again. I feel I’ve let my family down. Again. And I’ve absolutely let myself down. Again.
With that said, I know that it was not my fault, nor in my control. I know that I had to move on and continue to be a mother to my children. Protect them and show them what unconditional love is because that is the love they will always receive from me. I pray that they learn from my choices and mistakes and stay confident and continue to grow with love and peace in their hearts. What more could a mother ask for, right?
I pray I do the same, as I am in the ride of my life right now. I’ve never had so much pressure on myself, and myself alone. Alone. Key word. I’ve never been a fan of being alone. If you read one of my other posts, it’s actually one of my biggest fears in life. Being alone. I’ve been alone for over a year now and while it’s different and VERY difficult, it’s freeing and gives me a sense of independence that you can’t imagine. The hardest part is not knowing my future, but I do realize, that it’s all part of the journey. This journey that I obsessively speak about is, for lack of a better word, is exhausting at this point. It’s hard to think of the wonderful things when you are faced with the opposite everyday. I do know that this too shall pass. Right? Please?
I am sorry I haven’t written sooner. Thank you to everyone who has reached out and prayed for me. I am good, and I am absolutely getting better. I saved my soul. To be continued…